Alcoholics Anonymous, Part 2

The Alcoholics Anonymous meeting I went to this afternoon was pretty much what I expected it would be: a bunch of people sharing the ways in which alcohol has destroyed their lives and seeking strength in others in the group to remain sober. The setting: a community center basement that looked like an Elk's lodge from the 1970's with fake wood panel walls covered by yellowed posters of motivational phrases like "Live and let live." Everyone in the group was in their 50's or 60's and looked like they had lived hard lives.

The group was led by a sweet lady, a Betty White look-alike. I never would have guessed that she's a recovered alcoholic. She started the meeting by asking if anyone wanted to share anything with the group. When no one said anything, she shared her own thoughts: basically that she is grateful that God brought her to Alcoholics Anonymous, grateful for the people who she has met through AA, because otherwise she is sure she would be dead.

Then other people shared. Each person opened by saying "My name is John Doe, and I'm an alcoholic." Or a recovering alcoholic, or a recovered alcoholic. Everyone then said "Hi, John Doe!" And when that person was done sharing, everyone said "Thank you, John Doe!" Just like in the movies.

Most everyone had similar I-would-be-dead-now-if-not-for-AA stories except one woman who must be in her 40's but looked at least a couple decades older. She told us how she's stuck on Step 4, how she just can't seem to get the pen on the paper. She had been in and out of AA over the years but is determined to make it through all 12 steps this time. I watched her as she spoke. I could see the desperation in her eyes; I could feel her sincere and desperate desire to quit drinking in the way she spoke and held herself. But I also saw fear and hopelessness that can easily lead her back to drink.

I don't know how her story will play out, but I did recognize how valuable Alcoholics Anonymous is to her efforts to stay sober. She has a clearly defined goal right now: to make a searching and fearless moral inventory of herself. Beyond that, she has a pathway to recovery laid out before her, providing her with goals to work toward. But I don't know whether she has a good sponsor. It's my impression that a good sponsor is key to a lasting recovery.

Eventually, the group leader asked if I wanted to introduce myself and share anything. I told the group that this was my first AA meeting; before I could finish my sentence, everyone was clapping! I went on to say that I was there not as an alcoholic but as a medical student with the purpose of learning more about Alcoholics Anonymous. Everyone was very welcoming.

The meeting wrapped up with everyone in the group holding hands in a circle and saying a prayer. It's a good thing that I was prepared for the spiritual aspect of AA because it would have caught me off guard otherwise. Multiple people in the group said that the two most important things in their life are God and sobriety and that they wouldn't have sobriety if it weren't for God. Interestingly, these same people also commented on how they were initially uncomfortable with the spirituality that is so integral to Alcoholics Anonymous. I can see how spirituality is a double-edged sword: while a person's relationship with God can be a powerful modifier of behavior, the idea of God can be off-putting to many people for a variety of reasons.

Overall, I think it was valuable to actually experience an AA meeting. I now have a better appreciation of both the strengths and limitations of Alcoholics Anonymous.